Saturday, November 29, 2008

Did Dick Cheney really shoot New York Giants football player?






New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress claimed on Saturday that he "accidently" shot himself with a gun that he carried into a New York night club on Friday night.

Burress faces the possibility of charges of illegally carrying a gun in New York without a permit, according to news reports.

Burress' story of accidentally shooting himself is about as believable as VP Dick Cheney's story of not being drunk when he "accidentally" shot a friend while hunting.
I suspect Cheney was at the same club as Burress and thought he was our next president, Barack Obama, since all those "black guys" look alike to Cheney. In another drunken fit, Cheney pulled out his shotgun and did the deed, then left as Cheney's Secret Service people convinced Burress it was an "accident."
At least that sounds more believable than what Burress said.

Signs of the Recession: Wealthy cutting back on gifts to mistresses

I write a lot about the economy these days. And to tell the truth, I don't think things are all that bad for most of us. Or at least I don't think we have it near as bad as my parents did in the Great Depression, when unemployment reached 30 percent.

Unemployment has risen, but at 6.5 percent in the U.S., that's nothing compared to the 1930s. Hell, it's nothing compared to the 1980s. If you're not in finance or retail or real estate or manufacturing or construction, you should be doing OK, even with a smaller 401k or mutual fund. Long-term investors say the market will rise again - the S&P is coming off its best week in 34 years! It's on a roll! And look how low gasoline prices have sunk - you can go out and buy a Hummer to feel better.....Um, yes, I'm joking. I cram my 6-7 frame into a Honda CRV that gets almost 30 mpg because I care more about the environment and saving gas than I do about my own temporary comfort.

But this item did make me pause: Maybe it is getting pretty bad when wealthy folks have to cut back on gifts to their mistresses, and even ditch them altogether. Hmmm....that's hitting us - or them - where it really hurts.

More than 80% of multimillionaires who have extra-marital lovers plan to cut back on their holiday gifts to them, according to a new survey by Prince & Associates, a Connecticut research firm. About 12% of the men and women questioned planned to dump their lovers due to their weakening stock portfolios.

Must be rough - not that I would know.

The infidelity questions were asked as part of a larger wealth study. About two thirds of the respondents were men and one third women. All were married and owned private jets. Again, that's not me. I don't even own a private toy jet.

As a professional interviewer myself, it must have been an interesting line of questioning. Interviewer: Oh yeah, one more thing, sir, uh, if you have a mistress, um....do you plan to cut back on your holiday gift to her this year?

Market research company owner
Russ Prince told the Times of London that the 191 multimillionaires who admitted to cheating were "surprisingly open, even boastful, about their amorous habits." They were mostly executives in their 50s and 60s who paid between $200,000 and $1 million annually for the um, company, of a younger woman or man. Added Prince:

“These people are largely workaholics who see their lovers about
once a month, and pay a fortune in rent, spa treatments and maybe five weeks of
vacations a year for the privilege. At a time when the average American family
income is $48,000 a year, they are questioning the value of such investments.”

Well, isn't that special? Wealthy folks actually think about the rest of us when they are cheating on their spouses? Kinda makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, huh? If this recession thing can make a few wealthy adulterers rethink their lives, maybe there will be some positive benefits to it. Then again, the cynic in me says these rich cheats are just worried about their portfolios, not about making life changes.